How to Build a Foreign Friendship

Foreigners often feel lonely. People don’t take the time to listen to them. They are often poor. They get confused or cheated because the culture and language is so different from their own.

Befriending foreigners at home is a BIG part of mission work. It is the great commission minus a big part of the expense!! God talks a lot about how important it is to Him that we “care for the alien and the stranger.” God cares about people who feel “out of place.”

Here are five ways you can experiment with ministering to the “alien and stranger”:

1. THINK ABOUT THEM!
   Yep, as strange as it may sound. Just start being conscious of WHERE are immigrants, and foreigners in your city? Are there apartment complexes filled with just Vietnamese, or just Serbians or just Afghani’s? Where are the Ethopians in your city? In your school, who is there who wasn’t born in this country? In the school you DON’T go to, who is a foreigner? WHO are these people? WHAT is their need? What is their standard of life? Who is helping them? What do they look like? What do I already know about them? What don’t I know about them?
2. MEET ONE.
   Yes, this is the big step. Find one foreigner. You may feel a little like a sheep attacking a unsuspecting blade of grass. Don’t worry about it. Go to a shop, a park, a market, or an apartment building where you feel like you might have a good chance to meet a foreign person. Then go up to them and say, “Hello, my name is ________” Smile big. Ask their name. Ask them where they are from. Tell them you have been wanting to meet someone who is foreign. Then let the conversation roll. If your “one contact” doesn’t turn into anything special, than meet another.
3. PREPARE TO FOLLOW
   Hospitality is a bigger part of most cultures than it is to American’s. We think we are pretty nice, but the rest of the world tells us that we often fall short in the hospitality area. Don’t get mad, just believe them. When I say “Prepare to Follow,” I mean that now that you have made a friend, be prepared to follow them to their home. It’s likely they will invite you for tea, or for a soft drink. Foreigners need friends remember? So don’t put yourself in any “unsafe” or stupid situations, but don’t miss out on the chance for conversation and friendship. Bring another friend, go, talk, listen laugh and learn.
4. MEET THE FAMILY
   Foreigners usually don’t come in one’s. They have likely come in a six-pack or squadron of twelve or have some nephew that is their adopted cousins fiancee living with them. You’ll quickly pick up who is who. Usually most are gracious and kind. Try your best to remember their names. Stop over occasionally and visit. You will learn their culture - to bow, to take your shoes off, to eat with your hands, or to belch after the meal!
5. INVITE
   As you feel comfortable invite and give. Your roll is not to solve their life financially. Like Peter and John looking at the beggar on the way to the temple they said, “Silver and gold we don’t have, but we do have we’ll give to you. In the name of Jesus stand up and walk.” And he did! Your roll is to show them what joy in Jesus is all about. You have two invitations – one is to invite your foreigner into your heart. You invite a foreigner into your heart through the gestures of kindness, love, warmth, hospitality, etc. Does your new friend feel like you are inviting him into a real friendship? The second invitation is for them to have Jesus in their heart. That invitation may come deep into the journey and after trust, and understanding has been built. It’s almost impossible for the second invitation to come before the first. As you talk, ask about their spiritual beliefs, listen long and wait for them to ask you before sharing contradictory beliefs. Be yourself, and let the Holy Spirit do what He does best!

Conclusion
Foreign friendships are wonderful. The appreciation that foreigners feel is often so intense that the friendship grows much deeper than other friendships you have. I have found also they are fragile and need care and nurturing. I hope you set out on your journey and pray. God will lead you to the right person to whom you can minister to and mutually whom you can learn from.